I have been pretty uptight lately. The pressure which i allow myself to submit to is destroying that smile in me. How i take responsibility alil too much at times, and breakdown after feeling that i've not accomplished much by the end of the day. Last Thursday evening, i was dreadfully upset. For not being very capable enough of handling matters at home. My mom sensed it. She called. Told me not to get stressed up easily and try lookin at it from a better angle. Always tellin me to be patient and do only what i can, not to force myself to do something if its going to be hard on me. i heed her advice. Trying my darnest not to let her hear me cryin for no reason over the phone. i heaved a sigh of relief after i managed to do so.

After the conversation with mom, asree called. Unknowingly, i dropped all defenses and cried upon hearing his voice. He's been the friend who's hovering near me and making sure that i eat right everyday. Hearing his constant barrage of advice healed that hurt in me, somehow. he kept reminding me how i should not be behaving that way, esp in the month of Ramadhan. i understood him well. i know i had to control my emotions that's eating me up, even if it takes alot of crying. "thank you Asree"

i feel better now as i slowly regain my strength. how am i able to manage my own wellbeing, when i'm lacking in sleep / gettin stressed about cooking / sparing time to clean up the house or do the laundry after a long day's drafting of advice at work. by the end of the day, i'm too tired to do my tarawih prayers and i hated that... i told myself to lean back and work that aching muscle first and get much much rest. and i did. Alhamudulillah, the headache's gone now... Hopefully the coming work week's gonna be somewhat reasonable..