Tuesday, November 29, 2005
i wanna blog about something.
really..
wait lemme think... er..
urhh....
urrrhhhh...*sigh* ermm...
arrgh!! fish!!
arrgh!! fish!!
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 You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog. You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head. Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent. You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content. |
hmm.... thats strange.
Friday, November 25, 2005
Life is unpredictable and things happen for a reason.
For sure it is.
Going through the unpredictable phase of life and submitting to fate by relunctantly believing that theres a reason behind certain things, has sure made me numb.
Didnt know growing up and turnin 21 is such a chore.
Wish i could relive the days when im stupidly makin sense of algebra and buy myself a cup of iced milo in celebration of solving 3 math questions consecutively.
Now.. all i do is sigh. practically every hour there is. tryin to make sense of why am i brooding over things which is better left unthinkable. feelin sorry for myself at times, i hope no other soul makes the same mistakes as i did. sitting, wishing and waiting.
sheesh.
Going through the unpredictable phase of life and submitting to fate by relunctantly believing that theres a reason behind certain things, has sure made me numb.
Didnt know growing up and turnin 21 is such a chore.
Wish i could relive the days when im stupidly makin sense of algebra and buy myself a cup of iced milo in celebration of solving 3 math questions consecutively.
Now.. all i do is sigh. practically every hour there is. tryin to make sense of why am i brooding over things which is better left unthinkable. feelin sorry for myself at times, i hope no other soul makes the same mistakes as i did. sitting, wishing and waiting.
sheesh.
Monday, November 21, 2005
+ peas in my nostrils
i am sick. Indeed it has been a while now that i last visit the doctors.. i love being sick! make me feel all... human!.. yeah. anyways i drag my sickdays this time around cos it happened during my Ends! goodness, for the first time (ok im exaggerating) i actually HAD PLANS for the Ends and they're all wasted! Saturday.. after work i planned to go for that bowling session with Di and friends... and all of a sudden at 11am, body heated up, i sneezed like nobody's business and i hardly sound feminine. at all. i dont know if i was a donkey before...
No choice but i had to pop some panadols in and rested in the office for an abt hr. i slowly then made my way home after feelin a little better. thinkin that resting is sufficient to cure the sick child in me, i slept upon reaching home. at 5pm the throat's really causing my eyes to tear. i quickly went to the nearest 24hr clinic.
got my medication and headed straight for home. feeling weak, i forced myself to eat dinner. my taste buds were not functioning as per normal, that spicy dish tasted like tofu soup or smth.. i manage to catch my fav movie on tv though, later that night. 'I am Sam' - great great movie.. but not so great when you're all drowsy on antibiotics!! tsk.
then the plan for Sunday was to go to my friend's wedding and later to my colleague's open house party and spend time with her kids!! goodness. i was soo lookin forward to see them that i actually dreamt of them like on friday! geez. now that i'm sick, i had to give both places a miss. esp the open house. dont want the darlings to get the nasty disease from me. ended up going to the wedding later than the intended timing, cos i felt alot better then.. and also yan (awin's ahem) had offered the ride to and fro.. really sweet of him!
so the gidigidi huda giddily made her way to the wedding but just for a short while. didnt manage to meet the lovely bride, faizah but heck! im sure she looked fantastic! really happy for her!
after that, i reached home an hr later at 4pm. scurried to my room and landed on the mattress. heaven i thought. i can't feel my hands and legs. i pop the pills and everything went spiral. later that night, i realised my temperature gradually subsided from 38.1 earlier to 37.6. phew. looks good.. i manage to get a gd rest that night.
woke up earlier for prayers today then realised that im still havin that spiral effect since last night's medication. i slept past 9am and i knew i had to call in for medical leave. went to the doctors slightly past noon to get his endorsement. later, i met up with... hmm.. nizam. and we had lunch and chat over tea. i must say i was floating the entire time. so i couldnt quite get hype for my Q & A session due to my sober condition. Nizam: thanks for the time today.. wishing you all the best with work and i hope to see u soon..
i say back to the office tomorrow! hopefully i dont go marijuana-ing again..
Saturday, November 19, 2005
+ imperfect
it IS four in the morning.
No. I dont have sleeping problems. in fact i sleep pretty early these days. today at around 1030, after gettin off the phone with a certain someone, my sister insisted that i be her human manequin to prepare herself for the Bed-Bathing practical tmr.
Since she's been involved in her CCA quite alot, she's gotten quite tanned and its sure not helping her self-confidence at times whenever she looked at herself in the mirror and i happen to be lookin at the same mirror at the pt. lol* but heck! she's gorgeous already. no doubt abt that.
Anyways, after 3 rounds of Bed-Bathing (all of which i had to pretend that i'm a patient, for real) i pretended to be one of those ignorant and cranky patient, who refuses to get up, shuts both eyes when the 'nurse' is talkin or askin questions and play dead. should see the look on her face when she gets frustrated. haha.
so after the third round, i searched for my pillow... and with a twitch of the nose, i escaped to the magical land of dreams. uh-huh. i woke up at 330 to realise that i'm still in my work clothes. and my eyeballs start to do the tango.. quickly i got up, wash my face, painfully remove my contact lenses, showered and did my prayers. hmmm...
now i'm waiting for a few more minutes before surrendering myself to the other world.
i think i'm gettin sick. my throat's all parched and rough, despite lubricating it with water. and now, my nose is feelin it. hopefully i dont get any worst than perhaps a normal flu. but then again, after all that heartache its about time i see the doctor.
as for matters of MY heart, i hope everything will heal soon. i'm still accepting the fact that:-
(i) people change and theres nothing i can do abt it;
(ii) never to expect anything in life;
(iii) life is not all that sad if i were to leave my emotions aside and think;
(iv) nobody is perfect for i am hardly perfect; and
(iv) i'm very much single.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
what the fuck is going on.
what have i done so wrong that i deserve to be left like an unwanted trash.
is it really that difficult to just tell me the truth straight. whether or not you want me to leave you alone.
no. huda is NOT gettin emotional or biol. at this point, its simply I'M TIRED. I DONT GIVE A DAMN. I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
question. if u plan to have dinner with a friend. and i mean, friend. would u purposely off your phone and let your friend wait and assume that the meeting's off? or would it be better if u had at least call that person out of courtesy even if you had to lie that you had something urgent to attend to? what happened to the convenience of havin a mobile phone when you have it tucked just beside your crotch?
fair enough. past few days i acted based on my emotions. this time around, i hardly have any of that emotions left. i'm so immune to your poison that my body rejects every drop of it.
moral of the story: pls dont act like you want to patch things up and be merry again when you know you cant afford to do any of that no more.
i'm no longer hoping. its one lesson i regret learning.
will i ever get a sorry from you? it'll be a miracle if i do.
what have i done so wrong that i deserve to be left like an unwanted trash.
is it really that difficult to just tell me the truth straight. whether or not you want me to leave you alone.
no. huda is NOT gettin emotional or biol. at this point, its simply I'M TIRED. I DONT GIVE A DAMN. I'VE HAD ENOUGH.
question. if u plan to have dinner with a friend. and i mean, friend. would u purposely off your phone and let your friend wait and assume that the meeting's off? or would it be better if u had at least call that person out of courtesy even if you had to lie that you had something urgent to attend to? what happened to the convenience of havin a mobile phone when you have it tucked just beside your crotch?
fair enough. past few days i acted based on my emotions. this time around, i hardly have any of that emotions left. i'm so immune to your poison that my body rejects every drop of it.
moral of the story: pls dont act like you want to patch things up and be merry again when you know you cant afford to do any of that no more.
i'm no longer hoping. its one lesson i regret learning.
will i ever get a sorry from you? it'll be a miracle if i do.
Location: Blk 249 Choa Chu Kang Avenue 2
Time: About 6
Date: 13 November 2005
"Good Morning.. Charlie."
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
+ Management 101
Was lookin through my old pictures back in secondary school and poly days. i soo love the life then. miss havin lousy grades, fantasizing abt the hot lecturer who's busy searching for his 15th transparency with smudged inks at the sides, thinkin abt the guy in brown t-shirt i bumped into while queueing up at the nasi padang stall.. or probably wondering what the exam questions are going to be like...
But u know what, i equally love working too. really is a different feel altogether and it amaze me thinkin that i've worked for more than a year already. *huda widens her nostrils* though at times, i am envious of those kids i see in the train, in their jack purcells and flipping through their somewhat crumpled stack of papers (becos never buy file) that reads 'Organizational Behaviour'
i love being that geeky/nerdy/stoinkish/dorkish/stoned person faintly hanging my life by the thick Accounting textbk in between my cute palms. But first! i need to look for my THICK BLACK ROUND FRAMED PLASTIC glasses for that immediate sassy effect.
Yesss ah!!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
If i were doin Alicia Keys now, i'd probably pen down these words to my next song.
"ARGGGH!HH!!!! URGRGH!!!! EKKK!!!! WHYYYY!!???? UURGGH!H!! WHAT THE!!!!"
yah. something along those lines.
"ARGGGH!HH!!!! URGRGH!!!! EKKK!!!! WHYYYY!!???? UURGGH!H!! WHAT THE!!!!"
yah. something along those lines.
Sunday, November 06, 2005
+ cousinfied!
it sucks being the oldest of them all sometimes. sigh.
+ all abt that boy again
mom and dad just HAD to take pictures with him :)
Friday, November 04, 2005
+ day two
today sexy haek was not in sight. he's at my grands'.. hate havin to know that he's not joining the fun.. but anyhows the good thing is i didnt get into any fight with a taxi driver the entire day today!! (huda polishes her halo) we left home at around 330. boyy was i glad to bump into my boyfriend upon reaching the first house!! eeek! he so made my day! he looked gorgeous with that samping on! haha.. thats him on top right corner, lookin through my messages in my hp (making sure that i'm not havin any affair whatsoever. tsk. what a bf) and another pic of him with his mother :) In total, we left our ass marks at 5 houses today. all of which are in the east. safe to say, my armpits were pretty dry the entire time.
hows today? t'was fun... reached home at around 11. i think i'm sick. taxi sick that is.
Thursday, November 03, 2005
+ And that was day one...
Yup 5 houses in all. Pictures taken in the cab. Dad had that last burp, and snoozed out real quick on our way to the 2nd house. Mom as usual, in candid pictures and smacking my thighs after each snap. after every picture she'll mumble "huda-stop-taking-my-picture-but-how-do-i-look" . idra and haekal, being their usual self. sigh. bottom left in turqoise is my boyfriend, iman. next to him, my cousin asyraf. then idra with syazana darlin lookin great! she's got exceptionally good taste in colours dont u think? yah.