Saturday, August 05, 2006
the dream
was it just me or did it happened?
i wonder.
it was way past midnight. after the phonecall from dzul at 2am, i did my daily checks before going to bed. making sure the tap's dry, the door's locked from inside, the windows slightly ajar and all lights off. since dad's out to work for the night and not forgetting the fact that idra's completely spread out on ours, i crashed my parent's bed.
i was tired for the day... but i can't sleep.
so i went to my room and fetched idra's mp3 player and switched on to ...the backstreet boys/aaron carter/ashlee simpson/jesse mccartney ..well, you get my drift. and since i can't get to bed, i shan't complain abt idra's choice of music. after all, they are my one and only companion for the night.
if i could recall clearly, it was towards the last verse of backstreet boys' "Its gotta be you" when my eyelids caved in voluntarily and yay! i'm falling asleep.
so i peered open my eyes just enough to search for the stop button as i ended my weekday. it was 0230 hours.
unlike my bed that had piles of pillows most of it were idra's and being used to having idra next to me, this time around the mattress felt light and more spacious. all i had was 2 pillows underneath my head, and three more on the side that belonged to dad. i had the blanket to somewhat shield me from the coldness of the night. little that i know, i needed the blanket more than ever tonight as i sense chills trickling down my spine.
lying in bed i felt asleep. the word is 'felt'. its funny how i can still see the room, knowing tt my eyes were shut. amidst that finding, i sense a strange presence. i positioned myself slightly curled to the right with my chest up and my hands were placed on my chest, holding on to the blanky and not letting it go.
someone's near me, i said. not literally, but in my dreams (or nightmare if that is a better word). it's opening up my hands. making me let go of my blanky. i heard words. muffled ones..coming out from this someone, sitting very near me. but how eerie it was when the audible sound from the fan began to give in to this voice which i had refuse to listen.
it was saying something to me and at the same time..hanging on to my fingers while i tremble in reluctance.
i rememberd that my eyes were closed but i can see the darkness of the room.
i tried so hard to mutter the prayer. to the point that my soul had to force my nerves to appear near the temples. my tongue wasnt listening to me. my mouth was of no use either. i'm being disturbed yet i can't have control of my fears.
Oh Allah! whats happening?!! i cried out.
after much tries, i burst out the prayers as if i was in need of air after being underwater for 10 mins. i breathed deeply, much deeply till i can finally feel my soul moving down to the remaining parts of my body and my mouth began to say out the prayers that was in my head the entire time.
the fan grew louder and the voice slowly fade way. i opened my eyes. the darkness hasnt changed abit, not even the trembling of my fingers.
i tried so hard not to overreact cos i know i'd be scaring myself unnecessarily. forget the mp3, i grabbed my blanky and my handphone (as alarm), offed the fan and went straight to my room where my sister was sound asleep. there i lay again and looked at the time.
315am
ONLY?! i thought.
why do i feel watched? was it just me or am i still in my dreams except i've succeeded moving my limbs and moved to my room?
i continue to shut my eyes and forced myself to sleep again, though i really didnt want to. i did my prayers for the day, what. i cleaned up nicely before going to bed. i said my prayers again before i sleep. what did i do wrong?
why do i feel afraid? why am i being disturbed? what was it?
strangely, i've heard this advise before. 'go wash your feet before you sleep'
i didnt know the reason behind that but no harm trying i thought.
i got off the bed. still muttering the prayer, i switched on the lights. walked to the kitchen and lighted up all three lights including the bathroom. while still muttering the prayer, i washed my feet.
walked back to my room leaving behind wet footprints, i tucked in. strangely this time around.. i felt safe again.
what the.
i wonder.
it was way past midnight. after the phonecall from dzul at 2am, i did my daily checks before going to bed. making sure the tap's dry, the door's locked from inside, the windows slightly ajar and all lights off. since dad's out to work for the night and not forgetting the fact that idra's completely spread out on ours, i crashed my parent's bed.
i was tired for the day... but i can't sleep.
so i went to my room and fetched idra's mp3 player and switched on to ...the backstreet boys/aaron carter/ashlee simpson/jesse mccartney ..well, you get my drift. and since i can't get to bed, i shan't complain abt idra's choice of music. after all, they are my one and only companion for the night.
if i could recall clearly, it was towards the last verse of backstreet boys' "Its gotta be you" when my eyelids caved in voluntarily and yay! i'm falling asleep.
so i peered open my eyes just enough to search for the stop button as i ended my weekday. it was 0230 hours.
unlike my bed that had piles of pillows most of it were idra's and being used to having idra next to me, this time around the mattress felt light and more spacious. all i had was 2 pillows underneath my head, and three more on the side that belonged to dad. i had the blanket to somewhat shield me from the coldness of the night. little that i know, i needed the blanket more than ever tonight as i sense chills trickling down my spine.
lying in bed i felt asleep. the word is 'felt'. its funny how i can still see the room, knowing tt my eyes were shut. amidst that finding, i sense a strange presence. i positioned myself slightly curled to the right with my chest up and my hands were placed on my chest, holding on to the blanky and not letting it go.
someone's near me, i said. not literally, but in my dreams (or nightmare if that is a better word). it's opening up my hands. making me let go of my blanky. i heard words. muffled ones..coming out from this someone, sitting very near me. but how eerie it was when the audible sound from the fan began to give in to this voice which i had refuse to listen.
it was saying something to me and at the same time..hanging on to my fingers while i tremble in reluctance.
i rememberd that my eyes were closed but i can see the darkness of the room.
i tried so hard to mutter the prayer. to the point that my soul had to force my nerves to appear near the temples. my tongue wasnt listening to me. my mouth was of no use either. i'm being disturbed yet i can't have control of my fears.
Oh Allah! whats happening?!! i cried out.
after much tries, i burst out the prayers as if i was in need of air after being underwater for 10 mins. i breathed deeply, much deeply till i can finally feel my soul moving down to the remaining parts of my body and my mouth began to say out the prayers that was in my head the entire time.
the fan grew louder and the voice slowly fade way. i opened my eyes. the darkness hasnt changed abit, not even the trembling of my fingers.
i tried so hard not to overreact cos i know i'd be scaring myself unnecessarily. forget the mp3, i grabbed my blanky and my handphone (as alarm), offed the fan and went straight to my room where my sister was sound asleep. there i lay again and looked at the time.
315am
ONLY?! i thought.
why do i feel watched? was it just me or am i still in my dreams except i've succeeded moving my limbs and moved to my room?
i continue to shut my eyes and forced myself to sleep again, though i really didnt want to. i did my prayers for the day, what. i cleaned up nicely before going to bed. i said my prayers again before i sleep. what did i do wrong?
why do i feel afraid? why am i being disturbed? what was it?
strangely, i've heard this advise before. 'go wash your feet before you sleep'
i didnt know the reason behind that but no harm trying i thought.
i got off the bed. still muttering the prayer, i switched on the lights. walked to the kitchen and lighted up all three lights including the bathroom. while still muttering the prayer, i washed my feet.
walked back to my room leaving behind wet footprints, i tucked in. strangely this time around.. i felt safe again.
what the.